Day 6: Your Day

My day was pretty average (SURPRISE!) It went like this:
Wake up at 7am, snooze, snooze, snooze, sit up at 7:28 and turn the TV onto Today (I hate Karl goddamit.)
Proceed to get ready/browse the interwebz.
Get to work at 8:30 and begin my day answering phones, doing orders, etc.
SO MANY ORDERS TODAY, JESUS.
Purchase a can of Hairspray.
Go to lunch at 1 and call Jack, have a stunted conversation due to the fact Jack's work is apparently located in the windiest/noisiest part of Australia.
Eat a lot of rice crackers and drink some RedBull.
Come home at 4:30 and go to the Gym.
Fail miserably while looking at all the fit people be able to not drop dead doing various strenuous things.
Come home at 6:15, put a frozen meal in oven.

Am currently waiting for said meal.

That has been my whole wide day.

THRILLING.

Love, Morgs.

Day 5: Your Definition of Love

I think love is being able to still WANT to spend time with someone even, if at the same time, you kind of want to break their teeth out as well.
I think love is passion and passion is something that is such a raw emotion that you can't tell WHAT you're feeling but it's so powerful and confronting that you know you're feeling something that's so completely unique from anything else.
I think love is complete insanity, delirious happiness, intense fits of anger and breathtaking clarity all at once.

Day 4: What You Ate Today

Yes, I have already gotten behind on this challenge (go me!)

Today I ate:
- Half a Veggie Burger at The Albion with JACK BROOM =)
- A Bruschetta (?!)
- Half a Boost Bar (Jack still has the other half in his bag at the moment)
- 2 slices of Margherita Pizza
- 2 slices of a different Brushcetta hahaha
- More chocolate

Wow, I should probably drop dead from such unhealthy eating habits.

Love, Morgs

Day 3: Your Parents

My parents are two quite different people but they've given me such a stable and loving home and always, always put Kodi and I first.
My mum is so selfless I end up at a loss for words every time I try to explain it. Her happiness is genuinely mine and Kodi's happiness and she never ever stops going above and beyond for everyone in her life.
My mum is an amazingly strong woman who has faced SO much adversity and still managed to establish a solid family unit and maintain a career. She never sacrificed one for the other and she truly loves what she does. My mum is one of my best friends and her presence in my life is something that I will continually and infinitely be thankful for. I really should wake up every day and say thanks for her existence.
My dad is definitely one-of-a-kind, he can be a bit quirky and we often get into fights because we are so close to being the same person. He and I have had some tough times and we're not as close as we used to be but I love when I get the chance to spend time with him and chat about his interests and share some perspectives on mine. He has actually come a long way and started to appreciate, as opposed to just accepting, various choices I make.
He does some insanely caring things, that are obviously a hassle for him to do simply to make Kodi or my day.
He's definitely one in a million.

That's my parents and I love them to bits =)

Day 2: Your First Love

Well then, first love would have been when I was 15.
It was lovely for a while and I wouldn't take it back but I was naive and probably wasn't as assertive as I should have been.
It was good though, I was pretty much a scummy street-rat and just making the most of suburbia and whatever came my way.
I learnt some really important life lessons during that time and I definitely wouldn't change it for anything.

30-Day Challenge?

I stole this one from Annabelle's blog ( Hi Annabelle, if you ever read this <3 )

Day 1: Introduce Yourself
I am Morgan and I am one of the most ordinary people you could ever meet (and I like it that way).
I am quite awkward and I'm quite good at saying the wrong/most irrelevant/impossibly boring thing at exactly the wrong time.
I hope to be in events management or to progress as a personal assistant/manager of some sort, hopefully in the field of music; specifically live music, tour management, etc. And yes, I am vague about my ambitions.
I enjoy reading but I often don't find the motivation to read all the books I really want to, I always find it easier to turn on the tv and zone out for a few hours.
I hate being under pressure but I genuinely feel that I am a better, more productive, daring and successful person when I am put to the test.
I am currently working as a Junior Clerk and it's my 'gap year' from any kind of job/study that requires my continual and unrelenting dedication.
I am a creature of extreme habit, but the worst in me comes out when I don't have fresh, new things coming my way.
These days I'm pretty uninspired and easily distracted.

Love, Morgs.

Dumb fuck.

Useless waste of fucking space, time and effort.

Fuck.

It doesn't matter how good you look on the outside if you're a shitty person under it all.

You know.

Life is gunna kill you.

I try so hard to write things like I used to. I can't tell you how many blogs I've begun writing and then deleted because I thought they were just so pointless.
I have started to second-guess myself a lot and I've become more conscious of the things I do and always end up thinking about how lame they all are.

I'm coming to terms with getting older and I think there must be a point where everyone realises how fragile they are.
I used to be invincible. I used to be all these things that I am scared of now. Sometimes I wonder if we all just continually evolve into new people and eventually forget the old people we were.
Forgetting is worse than making mistakes. Forgetting is like pretending it never happened, like denying evidence. Forgetting means you never really 'evolve' and you never really learn who you should be.

I get so scared that I hate myself. I force myself into a corner and I impose restrictions and I never DO anything because anything new is terrifying and it's not fair.

I figured out what growing up is... it's learning to be scared. The more scared you are, the less you rebel, the less you rebel the easier you are to fit into a category and the machine keeps working.
I really don't want to grow up. I really don't want to be anyone's idea of compliance. But how do you stop it? I'm scared of being scared.
I don't even know when it happened.

It's never going out to drink and have fun anymore, it's working out transport and worrying about cleaning up and hangovers. I used to laugh at people like me.

I need to let go of it all and I need to not care. And things need to go wrong.
And things will seem more perfect than ever.

I still feel lame.

Love, Morgs.

Summer 2009 and Beyond

To Do - Updated 4/1/10
- Purchase hammock and practice the art of swinging in one
- Buy a beginners book for a new language
- Buy more science fiction novels to read
- Learn an instrument
- Learn to cook three amazing Vegetarian dishes
- Spend a day in some else's shoes
- GET A JOB (work hard)
- Swim once a day during the warm months
- Put on local music events with Stono
- Start up some kind of physical activity-type hobby
- Think of more 'To Do's'
- Start being more organised
- Drink more water
- Eat things other than junk food!
- GET A FUCKING JOB
- Take photos
- Do some volunteer work

It's so funny how you think you know what lesson you're meant to learn and you end up finding out something completely different.

That makes life interesting.

Dammit all, I am just sad

Everything's staying as fucked up because all that I used to have burned out in a jar like a lightning bug.

If I wasn't getting out of there in 8 weeks I think I might just run away.

I want things to go back to how they were.
I want friends again.
I want time.
I want to be more sincere.
I want to do good things and not hate so much.

Mostly I just want back the people I love so much.

Want.

I just want a purpose and I just want there to be something I love doing.

I feel so lost.

Guess what?

I have just learnt that society doesn't care what you know, it cares how you look.
There are cunts out there giving chances out to people who look a certain way and act a certain way and they couldn't give two fucks about qualifications or substance.

It's not fair that I won't get a look in when it comes to things because of how I look. If I were more attractive and I acted in a different way (I don't know, maybe like a complete air-head) then people would be lining up to hear my ideas, no matter how batshit crazy or downright retarded they were.

It doesn't take skill to be able to know what's 'in', it takes skill to be ORIGINAL and come up with actual ways to implement ideas.

Fuck all those jerks who can't see past the external and give more people more chances to reach their potential.

There really are a lot of people that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

EDIT: Then again, maybe I'm just jealous that I can't be that image.

Yeah.

I can't even think anymore.

I got so many problems, and they weigh on my mind

Life is too short to be fucked around by 'friends' and I don't like that some of the people who really used to be my friends are now those shitty, useless 'friends' that are just baggage we all carry around and feel shit about.

I refuse to make any more attempts at friendships with people who aren't worth it and, to be honest, anyone who thinks that's terrible of me, can go and get fucked.

I want my friends to be the ones who I hang out with, have good times with and know I can count on for a night out and a laugh. And, most importantly, I want friends who care enough to accept me for me.

Fuck the rest.

Love always(for those who matter), Morgs.

Because I like Stono.

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag friends.

1. Please Kill Me - Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain.
2. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
3. 1984 - George Orwell.
4. Ape and Essence - Aldous Huxley.
5. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley.
6. Dracula - Bram Stoker.
7. A Space Odyssey Series - Arthur C. Clarke.
8. Harry Potter Series - J. K. Rowling.
9. Macbeth - Shakespeare.
10. Sophie's World - Jostein Gaarder.
11. Burning For Revenge - John Marsden (I know, it's one of a whole series).
12. The Day of the Triffids - John Wyndham.
13. The Kraken Wakes - John Wyndham.
14. Down and Out in Paris and London - George Orwell.
15. It Zwibble, the Star-Touched Dinosaur - Tom Ross, Lisa Werenko, Clifford Ross.

I tag anyone who wants to do it haha.

Love, Morgs.

Not much.

Just things.

I spent so much time trying to be a 'good' person that I was inadvertently causing more bad than I would if I didn't care.

I have trouble stopping myself from thinking some days and it makes me crazy but despite all of that I still can't sit down and write something that is remotely worthwhile.

I think creativity directly relates to the amount of sadness in your life. That must be a nasty trick of nature.

When the warm nights come back I'm going to stargaze from my front lawn and make sure to sleep with my windows open.

I alternate between complete apathy and insane emotional states and I don't know if that's me being a crazy person or just normality and I guess I don't mind but sometimes it would be nice to have more of a control over what I outwardly express. I know, it's a bit of a cop out.

I like being busy and I hate it maybe even more. Having some trivial task to do makes me feel like I have purpose but I think that maybe purpose should exist solely in existence.

I think I'd like a plant for my room because apparently plants are good to have around but it would make me really sad if it died.

I don't think I'm very reliable but I am almost always on time.

Love, Morgs.

Always on fire.

I find it odd how a goal so simple can, at the same time, be such a difficult thing to achieve;

All I want is to be happy and love what I do.

And maybe, I want people to love what I do too.

Love, Morgs.